Abandoned
by mentalsunflower
Summary: She used to like its privacy, but now it is only a further distance she has to run to make sure he is still there, still her boyfriend, still saying, ‘I love you’ in that gruff voice of his. She wants to reach out and touch his scar...


**Disclaimer: **Not mine!

This is Mai's reaction to Zuko just abandoning home to side with the Avatar (season three). I thought it would be interesting! But I'm not a Mai/Zuko shipper. At all. But the great thing about this show is that I feel like I can write all aspects without hate! Yay! Also, I am aware he left a note, but just... ssh.

* * *

"Zuko?" Mai can feel herself grow anxious; although her face remains the same dead calm it is always at. "Zuko?" she calls again. She has successfully ignored all of the servant's looks, which were all as nervous-seeming as she feels. One had tried to tell her something, but Mai had brushed past him, suddenly worried.

Zuko is not the most reliable boyfriend. He has a temper, he can't express himself, he doesn't know what to do around others… but he is still Zuko, still the boy she has loved since she was a little girl. He is the reason Mai ever stayed friends with Azula. All for him.

And now she has him. He came back a hero, and she had seen him walking in the hall one day. She had been looking for Azula but instead she ran into Zuko. They had made small talk, she had congratulated him in her bored way, and the next thing she knew they were in the closest empty room, tangled together and kissing.

Now she is scared.

"Zuko!" she yells this time, her steps quickening, her heart beating quickly in her chest. She thinks of her life before Zuko, living in Omashu and wanting to kill something out of boredom; of wanting Zuko and remembering him in their young days; of hoping he was still alive, wherever he was. She never thought she would be his girlfriend.

Now she finally is, and the servants are suddenly quiet, people are looking away from her, maids peek out and then frown and run back into whichever bedroom they are cleaning. Mai hates that Zuko's room is on the third floor. She used to like its privacy, but now it is only a further distance she has to run to make sure he is still there, still her boyfriend, still saying, 'I love you' in that gruff voice of his. She wants to reach out and touch his scar, see his eyes close as he struggles to hold himself together. Mai wants to be the one that makes him feel. He has helped her that way, and now it is her turn.

It is still early morning, but Mai often visits Zuko in the mornings. She keeps telling herself this, but she can't trust Zuko and she knows it. He has always been impulsive, and who knows what he's been hiding from her?

She finds herself running now, all thoughts of proper etiquette gone. Her mother isn't here to order her to slow down and walk like a lady, and her father is already in a position of power. Mai flies down the hall toward Zuko's room, the door on the end. It is half open and she slams her entire weight into the door, not caring if Zuko sees her, because she wants to see him there, surprised, just so she knows he is still here and she can hug him and smile softly into his chest.

"ZUKO!" she cries, expecting to see his body fly up in bed, hair mussed. But there is nothing. She steps into the darkened room, shivering, looking but seeing empty space. The bed is neatly made; it hasn't been slept in that morning. Mai feels her muscles seizing, hears her heart thudding loudly inside of her.

He has left her.

She knows that this was always a possibility, that Zuko was never happy with the way his life was. But it still hurts Mai. It hurts her so badly to know that she isn't enough to make him feel happy, that there are things in the world more important to him than she is.

Mai can feel the tears, but she makes no noise. She has never made a noise; it is nearly programmed into her to stay silent. She stumbles forward, grasping his sheets, breathing them in, wondering where he is and it _hurts. _She can't even think clearly.

He has left without a goodbye. She doesn't want to believe it.

Mai can't comprehend it.

Hours later a maid finds Mai asleep on the bed, arms wrapped around Zuko's pillow, squeezing it so tightly her knuckles are white.


End file.
